{"id":359,"date":"2003-10-27T11:32:50","date_gmt":"2003-10-27T11:32:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/?p=359"},"modified":"2003-10-27T11:32:50","modified_gmt":"2003-10-27T11:32:50","slug":"monyet_kamu_dan_kita_semua","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/?p=359","title":{"rendered":"Monyet, kamu dan kita semua"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mungkin karena guenya aja yang males dan ga beres atau hal-hal lain yang pasti rencana kerjaan gue yang pengen gue kerjain di hari senin, hari pertama bulan puasa ini kok malah berantakan beberapa puluh menit setelah gue nyampe kantor.
\nApa daya.
\nWalhasil gue belum kerja dan malahan tengah terlibat dalam riset berat<\/strong> untuk menentukan perhitungan populasi MONYET<\/em> di Internet dengan menggunakan si mesin pencari Google<\/a>.
\nDari sekian menit riset akademis<\/strong> yang gue lakukan, hasil dibawah inilah yang muncul. Secara garis besar, monyet sebagai sebuah kata utuh<\/em>, baik itu sbg nama mahluk<\/em>, kata benda<\/em> ataupun panggilan<\/em> tetap mendominasi jumlah speciesnya di Internet.
\nTapi hal lain yang mengejutkan<\/strong> adalah ditemukannya juga variasi2x lain dari Monyet<\/em>, seperti Monyeet<\/em> (dengan 2e) dan derivasinya<\/em> yang kesekian yang mana biasanya muncul dalam bentuk informal seperti dalam contoh dibawah ini:
\nX: Eh elo ya yang makan batagor gue tadi malem?
\nY: Iya
\nX: Dasar monyeeeeet!<\/em>
\nGunakan “nyeeet<\/strong>” yang melengking, dengan akhiran “eet<\/strong>” dari tenggorokan. Hal ini biasanya membantu pronunciations<\/em> yang baik dan benar dari penggunaan kata monyet ini.
\nOk, jadi inilah hasil penyelidikan<\/strong> populasi monyet di Internet yang gue propose sebagai sebuah cabang ilmu pengetahuan baru, kombinasi dari linguistik primata<\/em>, informasi arsitektur<\/em> dan cyberpunk<\/em> yang akan gue sebut sbg Cyber-Monyetologi<\/strong>.
\n1. monyet (dengan 1e)<\/strong>
\nDalam pencarian “monyet” dengan 1e ditemukan 8,250<\/strong> hasil pencarian di Google. Yang menunjukkan populasi monyet yang lumayan banyak-lah<\/em> di Internet. Dari sekian banyak hasil ada 4 buah result yang menonjol yaitu:
\n– www.monyetsolutions.com<\/strong> dimana mereka bilang: Monyet Solutions<\/strong> is your complete website authoring, design and maintenance company<\/em>. (ada ya yang mau pake nama monyet solutions heheheh)
\n– monyet.org<\/strong>: Bukan penjual monyet<\/em>.
\nHehe.. kalo ini adalah sebuah blog yg clearly<\/em> dia nyatakan bukanlah penjual monyet! Jadi jangan coba-coba cari2x monyet disitu,.
\n– monyet.biz<\/strong>: IKLAN, Advertising, Promotion, Designs, Iklan Indonesia<\/em>
\nEuuuh.. kayaknya mereka dealing business<\/em> dengan para monyet atau apa gitu hehe \ud83d\ude00
\nDan terakhir nemu di Ketawa.com<\/strong>, dalam bentuk teka-teki. Apa bedanya susu ama monyet?<\/strong> Nah jawabannya: Susu kaya vitamin, klo monyet kaya situ!!<\/strong> hekheke..
\n2. monyeet (dengan 2e)<\/strong>
\nKeluar dari monyet yang lumrah dan meneruskan pencarian turunan dari monyet, jumlah hasil pencarian yang ditemukan menurun drastis, tapi masih ditemukan. Pencarian monyeet dengan 2e menemukan dua hasil. Yang satu cukup mengerikan:
\nDari sebuah website yang ga tau ttg apa (www.geocities.com\/dian_krs\/horor.html)
\nHOROR. BUAYA PUTIH JELANGKUNG NINI PELET NGIPRI MONYEET<\/strong> MAK LAMPIR MALAM JUM’AT KLIWON RATU PANTAI LAUT SELATAN SILUMAN ULAR SUNDEL BOLONG TUMBAL ….. <\/em>
\nMengerikan karena dia salah nulis. Harusnya kan disitu monyetnya dengan satu e aja hehe..
\nDan kedua dari sebuah milis (groups.yahoo.com\/group\/rpkj_14\/) dimana ada seseorang yang bingung antara seluang itu monyeet bukan? \ud83d\ude00
\nehhh bukan seluang tu nama monyeet<\/strong> ka????? … <\/em>
\n3. monyeeet (dengan 3e)<\/strong>
\nDari pencarian monyeet dengan 3e menghasilkan sebuah blog (www.kopiholic.com) yang isinya menyatakan penderitaan si bloggernya:
\nmonyeeet<\/strong>…. lengkap sudah penderitaan gue hari ini<\/em>
\nLalu dari milis SABILI (groups.yahoo.com\/group\/sabili) dimana mereka kayaknya milis yang anggota-anggota-nya akrab<\/strong> ya<\/em> satu sama lain. Ada dua entry dari milis itu yang menyebut-nyebut tentang monyeet yaitu:
\nPak Karim, silahkan makan jambu,…monyeeet<\/strong>!!!!” Gitu, ngertii…! <\/em>
\nMonyeeet<\/strong>, *beep* Omongan lu cuma seputar *beep*. Tolooong monyet ini dikandangin aja Ngeganggu orang melulu … <\/em>
\n4. monyeeeet (dengan 4e)<\/strong>
\nMonyeet dengan 4e ditemukan dari milis kota bogor<\/strong> (groups.yahoo.com\/group\/kota-bogor) dimana penggunaan monyeeeet disitu digunakan pada tempatnya dengan tepat.
\n… Melainkan juga termasuk orang yang sering kita damprat dari dalam mobil: “Monyeeeet<\/strong>, lu ..!!”<\/em>
\n5. monyeeeeet (dengan 5e)<\/strong>
\nNah hasil pencarian monyeet dengan 5e menghasilkan hal yang menarik, ternyata dari nadines.net<\/strong> ditemukan bahwa domain monyeeeeet.com<\/strong> sudah expired (ada yang mau beli?) \ud83d\ude42
\nDan dari sebuah website ttg Sherina<\/strong> (www.geocities.com\/pustakasherina) kita akan menemukan kegunaan baru dari kata ini, yaitu untuk memberi semangat
\n… Kalo aku mau, sudah aku lenyapkan Phnet dr dulu!?. ?Lakukan kalo bisa! lakukan! lakukan monyeeeeet<\/strong>!!!!?.Kamu yg monyet!! ?Kamu!?. ?Kamu!?. … <\/em>
\n6. monyeeeeeet (dengan 6e)<\/strong>
\nNah ternyata monyeeeeeet dengan 6e muncul di milis KMSR ITB<\/strong> (groups.yahoo.com\/group\/kmsritb) hehehe…
\n… gue udah tau koq kalo gue selalu dapet nilai diatas C….sopaaaaaan monyeeeeeet<\/strong>!!!<\/em>
\n7. monyeeeeeeet (dengan 7e)<\/strong>
\nSedang monyet lainnya dengan 7e muncul dari sebuah halaman di universitas purdue(web.ics.purdue.edu\/~gunawabs\/jokes.html)
\n… Tiba-tiba sebuah ranting jatuh tempat di atas kepala si COWOK…karena kaget bukan main si COWOK yang dari lahir emang latah langsung teriak…EEEE MONYEEEEEEET<\/strong> … <\/em>
\n8. monyeeeeeeeet (dengan 8e)<\/strong>
\nEntah kenapa jalur pencarian kita mendingin saat mencapai monyet dengan 8e. Dimana tidak ditemukan satupun<\/strong> monyet tersebut.
\n9. monyeeeeeeeeet (dengan 9e)<\/strong>
\nPada monyet dengan 9e, dia muncul lagi dari sebuah milis (groups.yahoo.com\/group\/mubi) dimana kita temukan bahwa monyet ternyata adalah mahluk yang juga pintar \ud83d\ude00
\nanda sungguh seeeekor monyeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> yang maha pintar … <\/em>
\n10. Dari sini monyet-monyet di Internet ternyata makin menghilang<\/strong> dan sulit ditemukan. Seluruh monyeeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> (dengan 10e), monyeeeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> (dengan 11e), monyeeeeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> (dengan 12e), monyeeeeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> (dengan 13e) dan monyeeeeeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> (dengan 14e) tidak berhasil ditemukan jejak langkah keberadaannya.
\nTapi ternyata, dengan tidak diduga-duga, dia muncul kembali<\/strong> lewat milis lain (groups.yahoo.com\/group\/idolalove) dan dalam bentuk monyet 15e dengan sebuah pernyataannya filosofipikal yang sangat dalam.
\nkamu persis monyeeeeeeeeeeeeeet<\/strong> … <\/em>
\nDari sini, pencarian monyet-monyet menemukan jalan buntu<\/strong>. Dari monyet dengan 16e hingga monyet dengan 30e, tidak ditemukan lagi adanya turunan monyet lainnya.
\nBegitulah laporan penyelidikan akademis kali ini di bidang Cyber-Monyetologi<\/strong> dan barang siapa yang membaca sampai habis posting kali ini maka dia adalah MONYET!! heheheh..
\nMet puasa semuanyaaaa. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mungkin karena guenya aja yang males dan ga beres atau hal-hal lain yang pasti rencana kerjaan gue yang pengen gue kerjain di hari senin, hari pertama bulan puasa ini kok malah berantakan beberapa puluh menit setelah gue nyampe kantor. 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Perkenalan pertama gue dengan Surga adalah tentunya saat gue dikasih tau semua orang supaya jangan nakal dan jangan membuat ibu (terutama) marah-marah, karena surga katanya ada di telapak kaki\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 102 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 102 comments","link":"https:\/\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/?p=450#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"heaven-hell.jpg","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/images\/heaven-hell.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":438,"url":"https:\/\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/?p=438","url_meta":{"origin":359,"position":3},"title":"Konflik","author":"enda","date":"06\/01\/2006","format":"aside","excerpt":"_Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. --Jonathan Kozol_ Kalo kamu ga ada kerjaan wiken ini, gue saranin untuk membaca buku yang judulnya \"The Naked Ape\":http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0385334303\/102-9272347-0764914?v=glance&n=283155. karangan Desmond Morris. _Highly recommended and amusing reading_, The Naked Ape yang ditulis tahun 1967 dan bercerita tentang Manusia (dengan M\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 32 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 32 comments","link":"https:\/\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/?p=438#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"conflict.jpg","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/images\/conflict.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":416,"url":"https:\/\/enda.goblogmedia.com\/?p=416","url_meta":{"origin":359,"position":4},"title":"Emang Penting Ya?","author":"gala","date":"22\/02\/2005","format":"aside","excerpt":"_Nothing really matters, Anyone can see_ _Nothing really matters, Nothing really matters to me._ _-- Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen_ \u00a0 Bayangkan kamu berjalan di *pantai* dingin pagi hari. 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